A Thank You to the Boy who Broke my Heart...and the Boy who Came After Him.
Dear boy who broke my heart,
Thank you. Thank you for putting up with my crazy, my emotional struggles, my mental breakdowns, and my personal faults. Thank you for staying through the hard times, the bad days, and the moments of weakness. Thank you for lifting me up when I needed it, telling me I was beautiful on my worst days, and falling so deep in love with me that you thought you would never get out. Thank you thank you thank you for being my rock and my best friend. Also, thank you for leaving. Thank you for holding my hand and telling me you loved me before walking away for the last time. Thank you for ignoring phone calls, text messages, and the constant "why" that came every day after. Thank you for telling me you just needed some time, but actually meaning you needed forever. Thank you for tearing my heart into a lot of tiny pieces. Most of all, thank you for teaching me strength and stone. You taught me how to feel less and how to make myself happy. You taught me how to be alone and okay. Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart, for making me tough.
Dear boy who came after,
Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for promising you wouldn't leave. Thank you for helping me learn how to trust myself with someone again, Thank you for listening to every sad story I had to tell and every unfortunate justification I had to make for my heart of stone. Thank you for telling me it's okay to fall for someone and that it's just as scary for you too. Thank you for telling me you wanted to fall in love with me, even though you knew it would take some time. Thank you for ensuring me it was okay to meet your friends and become part of the group and promising that you wouldn't go anywhere even if your friends didn't like me. Thank you for the sleepovers, dealing with the emotional talks, and making me feel like I mattered. Finally, thank you for leaving. Thank you for showing me how people change in the blink of an eye. Thank you for teaching me how to wake up one morning and not care about the person I was sleeping next to and kissing goodbye before work. Thank you for making my partially melted heart freeze right back up. Thank you for the excuses and the million reasons why you decided that you just didn't care. Thank you for running as fast as you could. It means more to me than you'll ever know.
Dear boy whose coming next,
I don't know if you exist. I don't know if you want to. I'm slightly broken, damaged goods. I don't know that you'll want to pick up those pieces or clean up that mess. I've adjusted well to being alone and independent. I will choose my best friend over you every time. I'll spend my own money, work as many hours as I see fit, and some days, I'll just want to be alone. I'll take as many opportunities as I want, whether it means traveling a million miles away from you or picking up an extra shift. I won't come running if you call, and I won't chase after you if you go. I won't change my personality, my appearance, or my social life to suit your needs or wants. Sometimes I'll seem a little cold and uninterested, while sometimes I'll be more involved in you than in anything else. I'll treat you as best as I know how. I won't hurt you, I won't destroy you, and I won't chase you away. I can't promise that I'll make you stick around, but I can promise that I'll leave that choice entirely up to you. I don't need you, even if I really want you. If you need to thank anyone for that, thank the boy who broke my heart and the boy who came after him.
Thank you. Thank you for putting up with my crazy, my emotional struggles, my mental breakdowns, and my personal faults. Thank you for staying through the hard times, the bad days, and the moments of weakness. Thank you for lifting me up when I needed it, telling me I was beautiful on my worst days, and falling so deep in love with me that you thought you would never get out. Thank you thank you thank you for being my rock and my best friend. Also, thank you for leaving. Thank you for holding my hand and telling me you loved me before walking away for the last time. Thank you for ignoring phone calls, text messages, and the constant "why" that came every day after. Thank you for telling me you just needed some time, but actually meaning you needed forever. Thank you for tearing my heart into a lot of tiny pieces. Most of all, thank you for teaching me strength and stone. You taught me how to feel less and how to make myself happy. You taught me how to be alone and okay. Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart, for making me tough.
Dear boy who came after,
Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for promising you wouldn't leave. Thank you for helping me learn how to trust myself with someone again, Thank you for listening to every sad story I had to tell and every unfortunate justification I had to make for my heart of stone. Thank you for telling me it's okay to fall for someone and that it's just as scary for you too. Thank you for telling me you wanted to fall in love with me, even though you knew it would take some time. Thank you for ensuring me it was okay to meet your friends and become part of the group and promising that you wouldn't go anywhere even if your friends didn't like me. Thank you for the sleepovers, dealing with the emotional talks, and making me feel like I mattered. Finally, thank you for leaving. Thank you for showing me how people change in the blink of an eye. Thank you for teaching me how to wake up one morning and not care about the person I was sleeping next to and kissing goodbye before work. Thank you for making my partially melted heart freeze right back up. Thank you for the excuses and the million reasons why you decided that you just didn't care. Thank you for running as fast as you could. It means more to me than you'll ever know.
Dear boy whose coming next,
I don't know if you exist. I don't know if you want to. I'm slightly broken, damaged goods. I don't know that you'll want to pick up those pieces or clean up that mess. I've adjusted well to being alone and independent. I will choose my best friend over you every time. I'll spend my own money, work as many hours as I see fit, and some days, I'll just want to be alone. I'll take as many opportunities as I want, whether it means traveling a million miles away from you or picking up an extra shift. I won't come running if you call, and I won't chase after you if you go. I won't change my personality, my appearance, or my social life to suit your needs or wants. Sometimes I'll seem a little cold and uninterested, while sometimes I'll be more involved in you than in anything else. I'll treat you as best as I know how. I won't hurt you, I won't destroy you, and I won't chase you away. I can't promise that I'll make you stick around, but I can promise that I'll leave that choice entirely up to you. I don't need you, even if I really want you. If you need to thank anyone for that, thank the boy who broke my heart and the boy who came after him.
No comments:
Post a Comment